Too Many Ideas

Nothing like the flu to get you off track and make you wonder if you’re about to die. Of course, at times you wish you would. But I don’t have to describe it to you, you all know. Suffice it to say, I thought I was having a flare-up but when a fever started up I knew some nasty little virus got to me.

My youngest had just reminded me how she’d known when my ex-son-in-law would die. She’d been thinking of him a lot (rather strange because it was the day before her 15^th birthday and we’d planned a fantastic party with her friends) and just knew something bad would happen to him. And it did.

And then she said she knew something bad would happen to someone really close to her and she was scared. Crying. Didn’t want to tell me who. I said, pray. That’s the best response you can have. And then she told me—it’s you, Mom. Something bad is gonna happen to you.

So I’d had a really bad headache for almost a week, and none of the remedies I tried did anything for it. And then the day after we went to an amusement park, I bottomed out. Tanked. Crashed. Crawled into bed with the last Harry Potter book (because just before I fell apart we saw the 6^th movie) and diverted myself from my horrible skull by living in England, with Harry and Ron and Hermione. And I’m thinking, dear God, please, don’t let this be it. I have a lot of books left to write. I’ll stop wasting time and get right on them, I promise. And my kids—and my grandkids—I’m too young, You know that, don’t you? (Yes, I know Your son was only in His thirties, but still….) Please?

And then the fever and then I realized and now, three days later, I feel better. And she doesn’t have that oppressive feeling anymore.

…..

I wrote that after three days of fever. It’s now been six. I’m still sick. No one else is. Conclusion: it isn’t the flu. Fibro-demon has found another way to torture me and get me off track. Apparently it thinks I don’t do a good enough job distracting myself.

 A couple blogs I think you should try (since I’ve let you down here for a week or so).

http://chironokeefe.blogspot.com/2009/07/take-leap-of-faith.html

(this is a post from a week or so ago but she has something encouraging each week)

http://internspills.blogspot.com/

(this is just entertainment—and info, too, if you’re an aspiring writer)

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